I WANNA GO THERE SO BADLY

It Has To Be

Everyone is leaving so soon including you. On that day itself wasn't a better day to be but still I need to go on. Hard to expect what would happens. I wish that day could be a better day before but it isn't. Could I give up?

Was it me?

I didn't force you to follow my event but asking you whether you can? I thought I could do something better. I understand you couldn't so I didn't asked for more after that. Eventually, I was told, I asked too much...............Maybe I'm the one who don't understands how to ask even? So I made you felt I asked too much. Sorry if I did.........

Let me recall

Locked myself in my room and start recalled what I've given you? Well, ya, I am giving myself some time to recalled what was wrong in it. The first thing came into my mind was isn't it that we were on a shaky situation? Oh well, believe it or not I am trying to keep this constant. Maybe I haven't really shown you what was really inside this little heart of mine. I doubted you would trust me if I continue to say this every time. I considered my words aren't important anymore. I'll do what I can to keep you having the moment of bliss.

I read your blog again and again and how I wish we could have the moment back here with us. I got tears, and I cried without disgraced. Remember when I first met you? Remember when I started to shared everything with you? I recalled. Gracefully, you mentioned I never hurt your feelings, but unfortunately I did. It just gave me a few seconds a heart of smile, eventually it turned out to be a bitterness. I can do better and why didn't I? I'm just as dumb as a doornail.

I believe you still feel the same, and I believe it's gonna take a while to have more trust on me. Well, is okay, maybe I wouldn't get the right answer yet at the moment but one day I believe I can.

Recalled the past was what giving me the greatest decision. People says move forward and never look back and I agreed but that just depends on what situation. I recalled the past and put right back into the present and future so could have your hope come true.

Am I the one who could completely turn your world around? ,Make the most of every moment we have?, If you truly love someone, you'll never hurt them? follow my footsteps? In a nutshell, you're not defective.

Working out everyday just to keep myself fit and nice. Not just that.......................................................

Talking was just peanuts

Time passed like water flowing and every blissful and sorrow moment has just been foregoing. It's still always a memories behind and never will escape one's memories. Feeling self - accusation is one of the main reason and probably it's never an eleventh hour to change for a better. Undoubtedly, talking and talking was just peanuts but only action that provides perfections. Frankly with no doubt, self criticizing is what takes place which is the truth and with no regret yet i proudly accept. I won't come out with any apology due to there's no meaning ever since but just longing for you to see I will change.

How could I stop making you feel the same?

As I surrender to you! I know your will be done on me Jesus Christ! Amen!

I'll Continuously Keep My Trust and Faith In You

Does my hope still being hopeful? Sigh~

If I Could, I Will.

I am wiling to do anything which I could especially for you. I pray to him and ask for his love upon us, yet to stay this way. Though, things go up and down, but I wanna stay strong for you. Even I left for a few seconds, I started to think the moment we spent and I hope this could stay constant. However, sometimes, I may ask a lot question, though, and this could made you feel annoying, but I hope you could just take it as simple conversation. Can you remember how many times you've scolded me and I never fight back? And all I think about is forgiving you and myself. I just wanna go light and easy on you and being hard is only giving us a difficult moment.

Not Here, But Out Of It

Seriously, I wouldn't wanna stay here, in Malaysia. Though, its my country, but I wish to move to somewhere else to study which I had in mind. I prefer to have a different environment where there's peace of mind everyday and different lifestyle. This is my biggest hope and I hope it will be done one day.

I wouldn`t stay

Lately, I've been thinking could I manage myself to go somewhere which I plan to go next year? I wouldn't wanna stay here, though. I guess its time for me to make decision to leave here and start my new journey to somewhere I wish to be at. Lots of memories behind, though, where I will surely miss it, but I need to make a step forward for my life and to the place where I plan to go. Perhaps, this will bring me something new and its a good opportunity to have new experience.

Amiss Me

I had been such an inconsiderate one as I have treated you with a defective manner. I recalled what I had done to you and I found that it went overboard. I can see that you are hating this feeling and I shall not ask for more. I will stop and it won't happen again. I have ruined your lively moment and I felt so amiss.

I Wish

You have plenty of friends, who can turn to you anytime, anywhere. I wish I could have that congregation, though, but unfortunately its not what I expected. Abundantly, I managed to notice, you'll look more pleased when you have your group of friends which they intended to cope with you, and you look more restless either. I wish I could have that moment.

Treasure You

The moment we spent wasn't wasted in the matter of joy and heavy hearted. This is how we get along to get a hearty relationship and better understanding. I'll treasure the moment we will spend from time to time and I don't wish to see you leave my heart. Truly, I'll offer you, my heart and I hope you could handle it with care. I'd always pray and I believe one day HE will answer me with miracles happenings. Amen!

Hold

I hold onto myself whenever I see something that got my eye. This is not what I pining for, but it just made me feel very uncouth yet skeptical. From time to time, I invariably indicate myself not to consistently go through this circumstance in any circumstances because I don't like to have those fondness. For I know, it's a very defective decision to show you that I'm being such a one. Sometimes, I prefer to cover myself with this matter by not wanting you to know because it's not righteous, but i refuse to do so. I promised you, I would split out whatever I had in mind. Though, I will, but I just hope you could bare with me with this matter which I am trying to change and correct myself to display a better me sooner or later.

I believed I'd always made you upset

Have I complained too much about you recently? I wish you could just be honest to me yet tell me the truth. Don't conceal yourself from me because I never did. I felt hurt deeply inside when I saw you were upset where there's not a single smile while we talked. Emotionally, you are not a particular person to me, but it's indescribable which am not afraid to declare. Seemingly, I can state how you feel and what are you thinking sometimes by looking at your mien which I hope you wouldn't mind.